| Lets watch the flowers grow..... |
[Jun. 23rd, 2004|10:59 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | everlong-foo fighters | ] |
Well i definitly think that this year has been a learning experience from being depressed to being caught to finding love to knowing who my real friends are. I truly believe that this year im a lot less nieve then i was before. From trying new things to getting sick of the old. Im glad this year happend but i would never go through it again. But most importantly I learned that growing up is going to take a while and a lot of learning which sucks but I know that the person I become today is the person im going to be for the rest of my life. So maybe I need to reconsider a few things before i consider falling into this next year of craziness. :-) |
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| hello |
[Jun. 2nd, 2004|06:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Drive - Incubus | ] |
Hey guys nothing new today jsut going to school and stuff like that I drove but I don't like dirving i get to nervous and everyone who teaches me yells and makes me nervous i dont know anyways hows everyones life? post comments damnit lol well im gonna go but ill see yalls later |
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| In Flames........ |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|10:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  peaceful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Vast- Flames | ] |
Well everything I hope, is slowly rebuilding I think I just need to focus a little bit more, and concentrate on sadness less. The other day I was just sitting thinking of what I need to be and I saw on my screen saver at the exact time i looked up "everyday is a new beggining." I think it was a sign saying everything is going to be ok. I have needed to hear that for so long. But im going to be better and instead of promising I will show everyone.
Daniel- Im sooo sorry and thank you for everything you did to me and if ever i get a chance one day i will repay you and im sorry i made you so worried i promise i will try to not fuck up again but i know words are only written and actions matter most so anyways thank you you truly pulled in for me at a weak point in my life like you always do and im glad for everything you have done your one of the few of my friends that i can rely and trust so thank you. |
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| paper or plastic? |
[May. 31st, 2004|11:11 pm] |
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Plastic is another turn for fake right? well I feel lately I have been plastic and i need to break away and be the happy me from last year so tha6t is my lastest goal but im mainly going to concentrate on growing up for one and how others are feeling too because lately it just feels like everyone is in the shitter so thats my little random fact and that saturday was a trip that i would like to experience again but next time ill be more careful lol... see ya later |
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| Hello |
[May. 17th, 2004|10:12 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Come What May- Moulin Rouge | ] |
WEll daniel I think your right I do need to stand for what I believe in and im starting right now. Im just being to emo i guess and I know these hard times arent going to be for long. Next year is soon and im half way through my hell only 2 more years to go... yay! lol basterd seniors lol.
Signed A more happy
Kelly |
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| IM sick of Mending |
[May. 16th, 2004|10:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Paper Bag- Fiona Apple | ] |
Well i dont know anymore... this weekend was ok i just don't know what wrong with me. I know i shouldnt take things so personally i know that when daniel tells me to shut up hes just trying to be funny and when mike calls me an idiot he doesnt mean it or when everyone makes fun of me for the stains on my clothes its suppost to be funny and I wear a plastered face to show that im ok but inside my whole inner being is shaken and im slowy deteriorating physically and emotionally I cry so much more then i use to and im sick of trying to be a healer and forget about problems of my own. I know my relationships are deteriorating also. Floyd tells me not to take things so personally and that i bring it on myself because i only laigh about it and dont get upset but the one day i got upset about a koolaide stain everyone got all mad and said i was pms ing. My only question is when is my breaking point? Heres my story. So im on my way to floyds conformation to get nice clothes and my mom comes into my dad's and my dad tells her to get out because she can't be inside when sue isnt there (my stepmom) so my mom starts to get upset and they call each others and guess who had to comfort my moms sobs and pretend like i was ok with all the screaming. Then this morning my brother crashes a computer that cost my mom 150$ and a lot of frustration and hassle to fix and i remember the day she got it back she felt so happy to see her computer back because she communicates with alot of people on it and then in one night my brother was warned not to ruin it and still ruins it and then i hear my mother sobbing as im pretending desperatly to be asleep then i comfort her and get screanmed at for no reason again ... How many times can you tell someone its going to be ok when inside everything isnt ok? why cant i just stop being so depressed i try to pretend like im ok but inside im getting closer and closer to just breaking down.... |
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| Summer Kiss... |
[May. 13th, 2004|10:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pulse of the Maggots-Slipknot | ] |
Hello well sorry I havnt updated in a while but i just wanted to give you some tid bits about some stuff thats new....
Try-outs went a little slow but i think some of these new freshman will be great and now its great im not a new member myself!!
Relationship was really rocky at first but its slowly getting better and im feelings better as well
Grades are pretty good and i think i might just get into a club next year...
dance is great i feel like im getting better each day..
umm friends are fine just nothing new with them same as always
well it was nice having a voice again
Kelly |
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| glass danse |
[May. 2nd, 2004|01:21 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | closer - NIN | ] |
well right now im just getting ready to feel the sun rays reach my epidermus lol it will feel nice to be pretty and tan again... this weekend was alright little emotional but oo well what new with my life? its just getting through the day is all that counts i guess... i found a new band to obsess over The faint. There really good i recommend them to anyone who would like a modern day depech mode... but anyways leave ne comments about how your life is i get a little sick just seeing myn on this page... |
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| True Friends Stab You in the Front |
[Apr. 30th, 2004|11:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
I never knew what that qoute meant i always thought well thats stupid i think if they were true friends they wouldnt hurt you but now i know. Everyone i surround myself around well practically everyone stabs me right where it hurts in the heart. I just feel so numb to it all evrything i trust someone so much and then they talk behind my back right when im only a few stairs away. well atleats my dad is doing better in the hospital he says he might get out on monday!! im excited hes the only thing im keeping my mind on right now because if i think of anything else i might go insane... well good night for now sleep tight and please let the maturity bugs bite... |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 25th, 2004|01:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Beloved-the rise and fall | ] |
Well tonight was prom night and i just went over to floyds as usual and we watched 21 grams sort of an independant film but it was cool.... umm nothing much has heppend in my life soo im pretty boring i'll write back when my lfe is more interesting ...
kelly |
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